Bala's lies

Bala is the greatest liar I have ever known. A few years ago a reputable Indian newspaper published the results of a study done on the frequency of lies that an Indian person says daily. The surprising result is 200 lies per day. I am sure it includes white lies as well as big fabrications. Yet, it is quite a number of lies!

I think Bala tipped the scale. In addition to the lies that we all say, when needed, Bala makes up stories to avoid taking responsibilities for his actions and to get people in trouble and he lies to everyone, police, his family, me, authority in general. What he said through his lawyer in the court is a fine example of his elaborate system of deflection of the truth.

Here are some of his lies.

• To deny the charges of domestic violence, Bala said he had no relationship with me. I was a paying customer. In fact, his lawyer said in the court that I had not paid my food bill for years.

• Bala said that his family members had lived at Asthamay for 8 years, which would have meant while I was there. In fact, he had just re-built his family house in Cochin (I wonder with whose money..) for his family’s enjoyment. No one of the staff of Asthamay or the neighbors had ever seen the parents. But he had a certificate that showed they had lived at Asthamay. Everything is for sale here.

• When the press questioned him about the money I spent in 2003 to buy the property where he now lives, Bala said that he (a rickshaw driver at the time) had money on his own and his father (a milkman with 5 cows in the back of the house) also contributed. Questioned further on the far fetched idea that he actually paid with his own money, Bala said that he had been a tour guide for me and my husband (!!!) and that was his fee, 2 millions and a half Rupees. An expensive holiday, real 5 starts all the way.

• I presented to the court the photos that I had taken in 2001 and 2002 of his family, his neighbors, and his house in Cochin. I lived in his house for 3 months in 2002 and we traveled together to the North for a month, all at my expenses, naturally. Bala’s retort was the photos were morphed. In other words, I had “photoshopped” the whole 3 months experience 8 years in advance, foreseeing trouble to come.

• I gave to the court all the emails that we exchanged in 2001, 2002 and 2003 during the purchase of the property. The emails exchanged between us revealed the nature of our relationship and the arrangements we had on the purchase of the property. Bala said that I had forged these emails using my “knowledge of computers”. He also said that these emails were in fact addressed and replied to by someone else, not him. He accused the cook of Asthamay to be the one to whom I wrote emails and wrote back to me.  Obviously this is preposterous because the cook of Asthamay cannot read or write English, cannot type and was 16 years old in 2003, furthermore I only met him in 2005.

• Bala told the interviewers that he was forced to kick me out of his property because I was “indulging in immoral activities”, not explained in details what those may have been.

• Bala told the court that he could never have been with me because I was too old for him, it is unthinkable for an Indian man to be with an older woman.

And there are many more lies, personal lies, business lies. Elaborate lies, pathetic lies, just so many lies.

As everyone told me here, it is my fault to have trusted him. Bala also told me it is my fault that I believe him. This is a cultural gap that cannot be easily bridged. I, and many people like me, many westerners, have a natural sense of trust towards the person with whom we are in a relationship. I have learned better now. Of course, I did not suspect that Bala had planned this out since we first met.